Abstract red wavy lines in a circular pattern on a white background.

NOT SUITE

Part Installation/Whole Liberation from that nefarious place we call the OFFICE

Colleagues and compatriots, we invite you to join us as we say goodbye to our fallen comrade: the traditional office. Still feeing unresolved in its demise? We’re here to provide closure and help lay it properly to rest.

Welcome to the grand finale. This is a wild journey of liberation through uncharted territories of work-life evolution where you have the opportunity to place the final nail in the coffin with all the pomp and irreverence it deserves.

No half-hearted farewells here. Only the most exuberant “bye bitches” will suffice.

NOT SUITE is a transformative occasion that celebrates the end of an era and looks to the unknown possibilities ahead. This denouement promises to be a rollercoaster of emotion and experiences where joy and nostalgia meet. mmThis is not merely an event; it’s a celebration of a new chapter in our work lives where innovation and adventure await. What are they gonna do? Fire you?

By participating, you’ve already fired yourself.

Follow us up the elevator and into the fluorescent lights …

ID badge with a person's photo, globe icon, 'New Work Order' text, and QR codes on a red patterned background.

THE BADGE

You can’t get into work without that goddamn badge - we’ll issue 200 of these to the city’s top bosses so they can clock right in.

More will go to the general public for an expected audience of 5,000 … time to get to work.

GET SUITED

Oh crap, you forgot it’s Striped Tie Wednesday. Don’t sweat it - we’ve gotchu covered.

Enter our convenient office closet and suit up in our never trending gray gear.

Business casual has never looked so drab, courtesy of us.

OFFICE CHAIR BOOMARANG

Interior room with blue cones and black tubes forming a barrier, a black mesh chair, patterned screen with leaves, gray walls with red columns, and striped carpet flooring.

The modern recess is here and it’s office boomerang. Let your friendly colleagues launch you down the east corridor hallway. We’ve all fantasized about getting to full Herman Miller speed and it’s finally here.

Your job called and wants its EVIL back

MAKE COPIES, MY ASS

Room with red lighting, rows of white partitions, a printer, and stacks of paper

Naughty, naughty… someone has been making copies of more than last year’s expense reports…

Sift through a stack of racks and rears and maybe even make your own.

RAIDERS OF THE KITCHENETTE

Modern kitchen with gray cabinets, pizza on counter, Pringles can, triangular wall posters with text about food, and a kettle.

Time to raid our fantastically mundane office kitchenette and discover stale snacks, expired perishables and handwritten labels asking you not to touch. But here anything goes so eat away and throw your wrappers directly on the bosses desk.

WATER COOLER BAR

Room with five beverage dispensers and a counter with assorted mugs

Everyone loves gossip at the water cooler but ours is a bit more toxic

We’re serving up 5 flavors of the hard stuff, mixed with office classics.

In the mood for our Gatorade vodka martini? Grab an “I hate Monday’s mug and get in line.

Feeling that midday slump?

RAGE ROOM RESTROOM

Bathroom with a spilled bucket, inflatable black swan, and urinals.

It’s not just the interns who’ve had enough - it’s everyone. Let out that mighty rage in what was once your least favorite poop palace.

Show them all who’s boss as you take the bat to the urinal. Don’t sweat the repercussions- the NWO team won’t tattle.

VOODOO CONFERENCE ROOM

Red-lit conference room with artwork on walls, featuring seated chairs around a rectangular table.

Had it with Becky in content marketing or Henry in IT? Well us too…

Have a seat at the table and find our piles of voodoo office archetype dolls.

Stab away and take the sting out of that 45 minute presentation to nowhere you sat through in Q2.

GOSSIP PHONE BOOTH

Small, modern phone booth with a stool and desk inside, located in an office corner.

Time to get the Tea. Enter our custom phone booths where a phone is waiting for you to pick up. You’ll hear pre-recorded gossip - your coworkers salaries spilled, your boss’s latest STD scare and who’s doing who. Get into it!

ZOOM ROOM

Office workspace with a desk, chair, multiple wall-mounted screens displaying various video calls, and walls with red and white graphics and text.

The most awkward part of the office just got worse - enter the Zoom Room and experience borderline NSFW on a whole new level.

Our staged team of weirdos will ask you bizarre questions, interrogate you and maybe even cry on cam. Let’s get digital.

DJ DESKTOP SNUCK INTO THE FINANCE DEPT

BOSSES OFFICE

Modern office interior with cityscape view, featuring a striped desk with a laptop, a globe, a lamp, plants, and a reclining chair.

This guy made your life a living hell for the whole two weeks he actually wasn’t on vacation - time for payback. Search through his private Mac and find out about his torrid affairs, his bad betting debt and his penchant for petty cash.

He thought he’d get away with it until now… raise hell in boss’s office!

OFFICE VIGIL AND WHITE BOARD EULOGY

Interior of modern chapel with red lighting, featuring a large cross on the wall and rows of benches.

You’ve let off a lot of steam and for that we say - congrats! No one was ever meant to work in an office so let’s say our official goodbyes to this dumpster fire of an institution.

HALL OF TRANSFORMATION

Abstract digital art with neon pink and purple pillars, featuring motivational text such as "I am not my 9-5" and "I am free from group think."

Congrats - you have successfully said goodbye to the modern office. Your pain is over and you’re free to be you. Take a good long look in the mirror and commit to your self the following affirmations - “I am more than my unassigned seating.”

Let this be the moment to bet on you and free yourself from the office shackles. Bid farewell to the stomach knots and say hello to a new life where passion, purpose and personality reign supreme.

You survived…

Now exit through the gift shop.

The Merch

CAPITALISM AT IT’S FINEST

Person wearing a white jacket holding a white and orange shoulder bag with text slogans about work.

Take it with you, remember the transformation you have just encountered and Namaste your way home with a fantastic “F*CK W*RK” anti-briefcase also known as a fanny pack. Ahhh so relevantly perfect to store your expired Adderrall in.

Hand holding red mug with "F*CK W*RK" text, surrounded by stickers with various slogans related to work and food.

We’ll miss the fluorescent lighting that made us all look paler than the light roast Karen the Office Manager keeps buying because it’s ‘on sale’. And sure, we’ll miss the temperamental printer that loved jamming right before meetings. And yes, we’ll even miss the daily struggle of hunting for a quiet corner to escape the dreaded “What’d you get up to this weekend?”

But as we say farewell to the modern office, we embrace a new era of flexibility and freedom. We raise our ergonomic standing desks and toast to the future where the time you spend matters and usefulness rules the day.

Before you leave, remember to turn off the lights, take a pic to commemorate at our Fluorescent Photo Booth and take a stapler on your way out.

glass block window with light filtering through

How to play

SPONSORSHIP LEVELS

MARQUEE PARTNER

The works. you’re the main boss of this whole shenanigan and we do what you say. You are coming in hot and we love that! Let’s make material magic.

$500k and up

SILVER PARTNER

We get it . dip a tow in and see how coo coo this gets. We love you and we’re here to make you look good to those that matter - the press, your date and your mom.

$200k and up

NEWBIE PARTNER

It’s a date before we marry vibe - heard. This will not be the last of us so come on in now while the water is warm and we’ll get to the big stuff down the road.

$75k and up